Songs To The Key Of A Lawsuit

Famous Cases In The Music Industry...

Led Zeppelin - yeah, the mighty LED ZEP itself - 

allegedly stole the intro to their fabled 

Stairway To Heaven... HEAVEN... 

from this track: SPIRIT by Taurus! 

''LITIGATION!'' 

(why do I feel like singing it to the tune of SABOTAGE now...?)

(NOOOOO - must... resist... urge to! 

It's another lawsuit waiting to happen!!!) 

Even one of my all-time faves - Men At Work - 

stood accused of plagiarism (not merely influence, no) 

for their time-honored classic DOWN UNDER! 

OTHER FAMOUS CASES:

THE LINES... ARE BLURRED ALRIGHT! 

OH NO - NOT KATY TOO!

COWBOY BEBOP...?

UPDATE - FROM THE FUTURE: GAGA TOO!!! 

THE CASE OF A CREEP VERSUS A CREEPETTE 

... THAT IS THE QUESTION!

...AND KATY LOST! 

*CRY* *SNIFFLE* *CRY* 

INNOCENT OR GUILTY... YUP - 

that is the question! 

Mark and BRUNO are serial offenders - ALLEGEDLY... 

now this one is just one of those for DEFAMATION cases... 

NO BIGGIE! (Another update, incidentally - 

from the far-flung, very chaotic - heck, it's 

getting to be cauchemardesque around here - 

FUTURE...!!!) 

Sue me - willya?

Should Have Sued... Sinatra!!!

Post by Frank Sinatra.

.
The chairman of the board...!  

(Or was it the ''bored''?  

For, I wonder still,  

which ''board'' was it, 

exactly...?)

Wasn't he always, like, taunting and goading us into doing just that anyway: "it's UP to YOU" he said - aaall the time - rrrrrright?!?

Aye, suing Frank for a variety of things would have been just the right thing to do alright: what, with the possible millions it would have raked in, what wonders we could have done with that, hmm?

Suing him for having wrought upon the world song after song that was only, in truth, but humming, rambling and mumbling, not singing. Suing him for this very song right here: about a town that is nothing more than a crime-infested rotten-to-the-core ''APPLE'' - the kind you really do NOT want to sink your teeth into - EVER. And he sang of it as if it was the greatest place to be on God's Green Earth - HA!!!

Suing him for having begotten Jr. there... (then again, we are much obliged for Ol' Blue Eyes having given us Nancy - though she waited far too long to do that Playboy spread there...! We love MILFs and GILFs but... Geez! There's a limit, woman! Some decency - please! At your age... Why couldn't you have succumbed and done it when you were sipping that Summer Wine instead - HUH? NOW... Sheesh! Leave it to our imagination and for your bedroom - and whoever you're sharing it with! But that's another story - not necessarily to sue for...!)

Finally, we should have sued Frank for those Rat Pack shenanigans, what he did to Peter Lawford afterwards and that insufferable arrogance of his... But his mob buds would have prevented us from suing, so...

Should Have Sued...

I should sue...

A WHOLE LOT OF ASSHOLES! 

Like the morons who thought it made sense
to change a whole lot of two-way streets
(which have been this way for years - years!)
into one-way streets... like, overnight!?
Well, it sure as hell felt like it was overnight to ME;
what am I supposed to do here - keep a breast of all
that those lousy, good-for-nothing elected officials
are planning as totally unnecessary changes
to the urban landscape that I have known that way
and am still getting used to - that way -
while I am toiling hard here so hard yeah 
for every last virtual penny that is coming
my way - or towards the trusty ol' bank account...!

I swear ya, I swear ya...
I'm feeling like David Wilcox here!

Or -outright- like Rodney. 

Okay - sue the YouTube uploader there; 

we want more than just the catch phrase here! 

And we shall have it:  

... which brings us to the next 

(sore) subject/category of 

morons to sue... 

Anyone who ever disrespected ME - 

yeah you... blabbermouth JERK! 

You know who you are...! 

Or, rather, you only think that you do... 

You dared to make fun of me... eh? 

You laughed at me... 

actually made fun of me!?

HUH? 

Well look at you now... 

A has-been... still a wannabee... 

Or worse still: an ever-so ephemeral, 

blink-and-you-miss-it 

flash-in-the-pan 

USED-TO-BE 

FOR ALL OF TWO SECONDS 

IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS! 

Bet you don't even know 

how to surf the web 

in order to find THIS...!!! 

which is GOOD, actually - see; 

that way, I have quite exactly zero chances of getting SUED 

(which would be quite the travesty of justice 

and revolting turn of events as it is...!!!) 

as I purposefully leave out your names... 

since I am doing it, you see, MY WAY...! 

Alas all this is still too damn close to the way I do it 

on my other blog; y'know... the LAMBASTING one! 

I am not about to leave me wide open to get sued 

by jerks/bastards/morons/nincompoops/neanderthals 

that have slighted me in the past - on top of that!!! 

We wanna get litigious? 

We do it the luminous way: we sue! 

We don't get sued!!! 

Although I am reticent to give any wad of cash 

to just about any pettifogger whatsoever - 

in order to get going there... 

But I digress... 

I should sue...

SUPERSTITION! 

See - it causes all sorts of mischief 

AND 

it begat... all of the following: 

I'll take the 13th... 

it's for a gift! 

We Should Sue... Peggy Sue!

...for having failed so badly to truly live up 

to the great legacy... of Buddy!

Buddy Holly wouldn't have sued - I know. 

Can't believe Peggy Lee never did though!

Should We Sue... Numan?!?

Numan - not Newman!
You silly Seinfeldians...!
But let's not digress right off the bat here...

Here on the TLB Prime Network, everybody loves Todd! Todd Agnew, that is! (You did not think it was Todd MacFarlane - did you?!? And, yes, it is a reference to that other sitcom - which we consider to be far superior to ''Seinfeld'' - that freak show! ''Everybody Loves Raymond', was a 100 times better! Wanna sue us for that? Huh? HUH? Darn - we *are* getting digressed here... Or digressive? Rhymes with aggressive! Sue me, willya?!?)

Let's try again: everyone loves Todd here...
And everyone loves Jesus! Of course!
See - nothing but love...!

In fact we love that particular Toddster -Agnew- largely due to the following song: MY JESUS...

What a powerful song - the lyrics say it all and are, near the end, a veritable profession of faith and devotion - full of the questioning that is particular to the Christian, the true one that is... This song is a masterpiece, unquestionably. Every Christian should listen to it every once in a while; it will reinforce them. 

Now, it came as somewhat of a shock to one's system when the existence of ANOTHER SONG titled MY JESUS came to our attention - and its author was that old stand-by from the eighties, Gary Numan. Numan? Numan! (Yes - I have been inferring that you say it like Jerry Seinfeld used to say it, whenever he would run into his mock nemesis... Newman, of course... from the very start, here! You don't have a PROBLEM with that now; do ya? But let's move on - and go straight to the point!)

Numan's version of MY JESUS is all about what JESUS represents to him and people like him - and so he focuses not on the Divinity but on the pain that He suffered; the more material aspects of His Life; the surface value, basically... Clearly, this could be an attempt to nullify faith in the Son of God and only see the Son of Man in Him...

At first, I gave this the benefit of the doubt - on donne une chance au coureur, comme on dit quelque part en France, n'est-ce pas...! Despite all its obvious darker resonances, I thought it did bring one positive to the table: that he spoke of Jesus to crowds not used to it. And that was certainly very positive in and by itself - right?!? Of course, it is all in the way that you do it and in the way that these crowds receive it and perceive it...

How do *you* perceive this piece of music...?

Have a listen for yourselves now, with this extended version right here:

What do you say, people - was Numan inspired to do this out of professional jealousy? Or by something far darker than even that? I ask the question, plain and simple: was Gary Numan in fact an instrument of the devil here?!? His song seems to have an agenda: to strip of their faith anyone who sees past the crucifixion and death of the Christ and Believes in a Greater Meaning to it all - in His Resurrection, namely, and in The Salvation that He -and only He- Brings! It clearly sounds devil-inspired, both in the tangent that the lyrics take as in the dark, brooding interpretation of the song that Numan gives us. And in the overall sound of the song, for that matter! Hell, isn't that melody wicked or isn't it? Alas, we think it is! And, in so being, it is pretty much the antithesis of what Agnew did: and that, alas, is no good - no good at all!

Maybe a Christian coalition (not this one) should get a class action suit going here against this Numan guy - for fake or, outright, anti-preaching sub-text or something?!?  He should have stuck to Cars...!

Of course, if all he is doing is sharing with the world his warped view of what Jesus represents to him and only him - well, maybe we can still sue him for being such an idiot? Surely we can...! After all, he is being but a tool here - the devil's tool - and anyone who is that is but an abysmal fool! Let's not take too kindly to fools, shall we, now? Fools invite a beating, The Bible says! Hence, he's begging for one - in court! (Let,s do things lawfully or not at all, OK?) For Numan surely is one indeed; but a fool who has nothing to say about Jesus other than gibberish and surely that does not qualify as adequate proselytism?

While we are at this, we might as well have a closer second look at Personal Jesus too - Depeche Mode might have been less obviously *a tool* but we never know... Right?
Let's not miss a chance to sue some guilty party - any guilty party, to whatever degree - and at any given time or opportunity, folks!

Amen!
+++

WHAT IF YOU HAD SUED?

As they asked once, in one of the few "not-as-bad-as-the-rest" sketches on a particularly dismal season of SNL lore, "you don't want to tell yourself 'I should have sued' - do you?"

So many turds-and-tards out there DESERVE so richly TO BE SUED!

I, myself, can state that it is with MUCH REGRET that I have failed to sue quite a lot of people over the years...

The only saving grace I have is that suing most of them would have yielded nothing much at all: because they had and are worth nothing much at all either!

I believe it is the very same reason why my many adversaries have avoided suing ME over the exact same timespan: they estimate that I cannot be taken for much because I am not rich.

My riches, of course, are of another order entirely: for it is the LUMINOUS WAY to amass riches where they will not falter nor spoil - amassing them in the Heavens indeed, instead of any earthly stash of material goods (whether it is collecting interest or not.)

And I hate dirtying myself anyway: so why would I want anything to do with the dirtiest thing on Earth - MONEY?

No, my friends and unfriends; I am not one to be sued...!

Materialistic selfish pieces of crap: now THOSE can and SHOULD BE SUED!

For all that they're ALLEGEDLY worth too - of course.

That is what we shall explore herein, in the months to come...

And, oh yeah, before I forget: THE theme song for this blog and umpteenth addition to the TLB PRIME NETWORK simply has got to be SUSSUDIO by the venerable Phil Collins.

...

And everyone I blow apart herein henceforth will thus be labelled a SUSSUIDIOT.

No offense, Phil! DON'T SUE ME NOW - NOOOOOOO!!!

*lol*