I should sue...

Santa Claus!

He never delivers on those HO! empty promises!

Old bastard...!

I should sue...

YAHOO! Not for revoking our sacrosanct right to have free webpages with all the latest tools (via GeoCities) and not for taking away their silly little 360` thingie from us (Anderson Cooper can have the monopoly on that - see if I care! NO ONE BUT GOD TRULY SEES THINGS IN THE FULL SCOPE - got it, Cooper queer? But I am digressing...)

No, sir - I think I want to sue Yahoo for daring to put an astronomical amount of nonsense so-called "news" on-par with much more serious news items - heck, it prioritizes the fluff over the truly serious items!

AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE STILL; Yahoo's pathetic advertizing makes my cranky computer cringe in frustration - freezing the pesky old thing for a whole two minutes or more, in the worst-case event! AND WHAT ARE THE DAMN ADS FOR?!? I'll tell you what they're about, pal! THE DAMNABLE BMO - THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE ABOUT!!!

"BMO SmartSteps"

"Do Better With Your Money"

"Visit a branch today!"

Damn sure I will - TO COMPLAIN!!!
What manner of viral attack/publicity is this, HUH?!?
And what terminator-type of CYBERDYNE technology do you use that, each time your little damnable "video" is set to start upon my DARING to access some damn (allegedly only) news page on Yahoo, IT FREEZES MY COMPUTER AND NEARLY EVERYTHING ELSE THAT I HAVE RUNNING ON IT AT THE TIME... HUH?!?

THE DAMN ADS ARE EVEN PART OF THE INBOX NOW - AAARRRGGHHH!!!

It takes me forever to even read ONE SINGLE E-MAIL...!!!

And don't any of your smarta$$ reps or kindhearted clerks EVEN THINK of simply telling me "you should get a new computer, then, sir; can we interest you in a LOAN, perhaps?" - OR I WILL LOSE IT!!!

And if you want my opinion (and it's damn sure you do; you're still reading this angry blog - aren't you?) the BMO is the world's worst bank, for MY MONEY!!!

HA HA - get it, BMO ho?

WHAT IF YOU HAD SUED?

As they asked once, in one of the few "not-as-bad-as-the-rest" sketches on a particularly dismal season of SNL lore, "you don't want to tell yourself 'I should have sued' - do you?"

So many turds-and-tards out there DESERVE so richly TO BE SUED!

I, myself, can state that it is with MUCH REGRET that I have failed to sue quite a lot of people over the years...

The only saving grace I have is that suing most of them would have yielded nothing much at all: because they had and are worth nothing much at all either!

I believe it is the very same reason why my many adversaries have avoided suing ME over the exact same timespan: they estimate that I cannot be taken for much because I am not rich.

My riches, of course, are of another order entirely: for it is the LUMINOUS WAY to amass riches where they will not falter nor spoil - amassing them in the Heavens indeed, instead of any earthly stash of material goods (whether it is collecting interest or not.)

And I hate dirtying myself anyway: so why would I want anything to do with the dirtiest thing on Earth - MONEY?

No, my friends and unfriends; I am not one to be sued...!

Materialistic selfish pieces of crap: now THOSE can and SHOULD BE SUED!

For all that they're ALLEGEDLY worth too - of course.

That is what we shall explore herein, in the months to come...

And, oh yeah, before I forget: THE theme song for this blog and umpteenth addition to the TLB PRIME NETWORK simply has got to be SUSSUDIO by the venerable Phil Collins.

...

And everyone I blow apart herein henceforth will thus be labelled a SUSSUIDIOT.

No offense, Phil! DON'T SUE ME NOW - NOOOOOOO!!!

*lol*